So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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