I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
