His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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