Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
