ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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