Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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