Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
