I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
