My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
