Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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