she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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