omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
