My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
