his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i came on her dog
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
how drunk are you?
Several
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
