sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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