i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
