U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
