garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
