seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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