I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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