So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
