No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
