i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
