Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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