Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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