3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
