It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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