I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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