1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
