First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
