if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
