So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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