Umm I'm too high to move.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
