I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
