I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
