Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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