Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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