Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
