Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.

  (713): View more from Texas

  I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Texas should really raise its teaching standards.

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  (713): Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party. (713): I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over. (832): Texas should really raise its teaching standards. http://tfl.nu/yy08
  Replies (24) Good night (3090) Bad night (574)
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  (718): View more from New York

  My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.

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  (718): My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life. http://tfl.nu/tfvf
  Replies (35) Good night (596) Bad night (4688)
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  (631): View more from New York

  woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.

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  (631): woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again. http://tfl.nu/84mk
  Replies (23) Good night (1091) Bad night (3872)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.

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  (902): Her vagina smelled like hockey gear. http://tfl.nu/kiqt
  Replies (39) Good night (611) Bad night (6939)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers

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  (516): you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers http://tfl.nu/btsl
  Replies (12) Good night (4800) Bad night (614)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.

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  (519): just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night. http://tfl.nu/1l56
  Replies (16) Good night (1810) Bad night (4078)
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  (949): View more from California

  It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.

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  (949): It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his. http://tfl.nu/sru1
  Replies (5) Good night (2306) Bad night (889)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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  (865): What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"? http://tfl.nu/h7i9
  Replies (11) Good night (2326) Bad night (1725)
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  (949): View more from California

  you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.

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  (949): you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club. http://tfl.nu/2ky9
  Replies (9) Good night (2479) Bad night (825)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...

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  (917): The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline... http://tfl.nu/p4q2
  Replies (1) Good night (2204) Bad night (898)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?

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  (403): You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something? http://tfl.nu/hj44
  Replies (17) Good night (4572) Bad night (1170)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I had him autograph the condom wrapper.

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  (573): I had him autograph the condom wrapper. http://tfl.nu/xdb0
  Replies (8) Good night (1747) Bad night (519)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"

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  (914): The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?" http://tfl.nu/1k91
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (385)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.

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  (337): why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/berd
  Replies (4) Good night (758) Bad night (442)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.

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  (410): We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with. http://tfl.nu/mg3p
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (171)

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