Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Piņatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.