Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.

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  (212): I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home. http://tfl.nu/lyh0
  Replies (7) Good night (2505) Bad night (713)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.

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  (231): I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out. http://tfl.nu/21gu
  Replies (12) Good night (3832) Bad night (1214)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.

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  (610): You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok. http://tfl.nu/svs8
  Replies (20) Good night (11345) Bad night (1580)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.

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  (904): I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year. http://tfl.nu/isyi
  Replies (4) Good night (3112) Bad night (1459)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.

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  (386): its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea. http://tfl.nu/ey40
  Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (2062)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.

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  (434): i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister. http://tfl.nu/d8xo
  Replies (34) Good night (3721) Bad night (3278)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood

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  (402): Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place (402): This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded (402): Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood http://tfl.nu/jep5
  Replies (8) Good night (1840) Bad night (863)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  next time we drink: battle shots.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.

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  (403): next time we drink: battle shots. (1-403): battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out. http://tfl.nu/hwdw
  Replies (9) Good night (1247) Bad night (697)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers

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  (647): I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers http://tfl.nu/b7h6
  Replies (7) Good night (586) Bad night (1041)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling

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  (231): The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling http://tfl.nu/mo9w
  Replies (8) Good night (1500) Bad night (916)
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  (626): View more from California

  Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy

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  (626): Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy http://tfl.nu/8u1j
  Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (1733)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!

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  (631): I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving! http://tfl.nu/q0d4
  Replies (3) Good night (1224) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.

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  (617): i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much. http://tfl.nu/n2r6
  Replies (0) Good night (649) Bad night (374)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.

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  (732): We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man. http://tfl.nu/m7bs
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (567)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels

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  (978): I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels http://tfl.nu/xkfj
  Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (196)

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