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then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
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