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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me

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• (786): View more from Florida

  I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex

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• (209): View more from California

  he laminated a picture of his dick.

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• (714): View more from California

  You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'll be there in 20 with vodka.

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• (516): View more from New York

  guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?

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