We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
