you would pick up someone in the library
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
