every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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