Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
