Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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