i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
