I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
