is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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