Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
