Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
