Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
