just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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