He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
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Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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