Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
