if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize