I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
