You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
