I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
should my penis look like a turkey
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
