Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
