I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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