Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Panties = found
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
