i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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