Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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