i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
