Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
