Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize