Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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